Dear Logan,
One year ago today, you changed my life in an instant. Immediately, the only thing that mattered to me was helping to shape yours and that's what we've been doing together (me, you and Mom) for the last 12 months.
There are a couple of quick moments that really stand out to me right now as I write to you. The kind of moments that are unforgettable and indescribable.
The first was a moment of complete joy that took my breath away and essentially made me stop in my tracks - time froze. We were playing in the family room (what you know as your play room) on a Sunday night in December, so Uncle Chris, Grandpa Tom and Grandma were all over. And for the previous couple of days, you were showing us that you were ready to start taking your first steps. Well, on this Sunday night, you really wanted to show off in front of your family. So instead of a couple steps and a dive, you were taking 4 or 5 steps at a time.
I was so proud of you in that moment that the feelings all rushed in at once. It was so awesome, kid!
But the awesome part is this: For the first few months of your life, you were so helpless and so precious. You needed us for absolutely everything. On this Sunday night in December, with you being just nine or so months old, I saw in your eyes that you were ready to be done with that stage. You wanted to change and you went for it! I was so proud of how much you changed mentally that day as much as you did physically. You were so determined, so focused and so happy.
Seeing it happen all at once was absolutely incredible! Since that evening, I can't believe how fast you've been changing. You are so busy and explore everything. All you want to do is learn and move.
The other event I can't help but keep thinking about is when we went Christmas shopping together. Just me and you. It was a rainy Wednesday in December (don't get used to those) and we went to the mall.
When I pulled you out of your car seat and plopped you in your stroller, you sat up straight, put your hands flat on your snack tray and you were just ready to hang out. It was super cute, dude. I was fearing that you wouldn't want to be plopped in your stroller because of how active you had become. But you were just completely content to cruise around with me and help pick out gifts for your Mom.
So now here we are. You are a 1-year old kid now, not a helpless little baby anymore! Obviously I will miss those days forever, they are irreplaceable moments in time and they go by so fast. But each year will be completely different, and I'll be doing my best to reflect on our memories together from the prior year from now on.
This year, your birthday is on a Friday. You were born last year on a Wednesday. Last year on the first Friday in March we were taking you home from the hospital. We had no idea what we were doing when we got you home, and you didn't fit in any clothes. We were kind of freaked out as new parents, but all we knew is that we loved you and we were together - and that's all that mattered!
This year, you've got a 100-plus fever cooking on your birthday, and 2 days in a row at the doctor. I'm anxiously awaiting a report from Mom on how you're doing and we have some fun birthday stuff in store for you tonight and tomorrow!
I'm looking forward to it, and looking forward to the next year!
I love you buddy boy,
Dad
Friday, March 2, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
January 18, 2012 - baby steps
Dear Growing Boy,
Well, I realized recently it was time to start letting go. To start letting you do things on your own. To learn. Discover. Explore.
We have so much fun playing in so many ways. Interacting, giggling, walking around together, sitting or laying on the ground. With toys or without toys. It's always a blast!
But something I've come to really enjoy as your father has been to observe you playing. You get so immersed in your task I can just see you figuring things out! And of course, sometimes I have to jump in and join in the fun. And sometimes you look to see if I noticed what you did, and always have a very prideful look in your eye when you see that I'm indeed watching!
Special moments, son.
You change everyday. Every parent says that, and I always knew it but I didn't truly understand until you came into my life just how much of an impact it has on parents.
You are amazing!
Today, we had our special Wednesday together and it was awesome.
In the afternoon, I had your different sized bouncy-balls out arranged around you with some other toys on the carpet. You were very active pushing the balls around, batting them back and forth as I rolled them back to you.
When they got away, your attention was fixed on them. You amazed me with your ability to track the ball rolling and spin yourself around to a crouch position.
Son, you don't know how to crawl yet, but you'd never know it from your approach. You were so ready.
So I didn't get the ball for you after a while. I figured it was time to let go.
It's time for you to learn to go get what you want.
And you know I'm right there beside you the whole way. I'm there for support if you fall, and encouragement to help you reach your goal.
Always!
But today, we aren't talking about the Presidency or landing on the moon or batting 2nd in a major league lineup so you can lay down sacrifice bunts and turn double plays (you are pegged for 2nd base at this point!).
We are talking about a bouncy ball rolling across the room, so let's stay grounded, okay buddy?
Baby steps!
Prior to this moment, you had yet to crawl or successfully walk.
But this afternoon, you made major gains. Instead of moving your arms and upper body and just falling to the ground on your belly, you actually moved your legs in sync with your arms to propel forward. You didn't go far, and didn't get to the ball a few feet away, but you moved with purpose and with intent!
I was super excited.
Tonight, when mom came home, she came downstairs completely excited to see you (obviously, you know how she gets...) CAPS LOCK EXCLAMATION POINT!!!! AHHHH!!!!
That's how she was. Her face lights up when she sees you, and lights up even more when your face lights up in response to her face. It's a vicious (but entertaining) cycle and I love seeing it happen!
When this happened today, she got down on the floor and your were standing up but leaning on me for support. As soon as she got down, you just took off and took around five steps (maybe a couple more) to make it the three or four feet over to give her a big greeting hug!
It was your biggest walking breakthrough yet! I was overjoyed, and still am as I type this note to you.
Right after Christmas you did some independent steps, but no more than 3 at a time, and always ending with an intentional lunge to reach your goal.
This time - more steps, more balance, and no lunge! Perfection!
So obviously we continued to practice with tons of excitement. Your little legs wore out. You fell a number times. Your balance wavered on some tries, and you reached your goal on others.
We have a lot more of this to practice in the coming weeks. Your upper body and your mind wants to GO-GO-GO like mommy, but you forget to use your legs to make you go - but you are SO CLOSE, buddy!
Soon enough!
The best part is seeing you be able to learn and do things on your own. You take such pride and ownership in your tasks, and your parents are so proud of you.
Lastly, you gave us a scare over the weekend. We had to take you to the urgent care, and they made us take you to the emergency room. The ER made us keep you overnight at the hospital for the first time since we took you home 10 and a half months ago. You were a sick little dude, but it was nothing the doctors couldn't handle, and the doctors and nurses fawned all over you!
Unfortunately, you have your dad's ears. Your second double-ear infection, and your fifth total ear infection (you also had a single one). This one was bad, an 8 and a 9 on the 1-10 pain scale.
Ouch buddy. You handled it well, though, it wasn't until you spiked a fever and added a viral infection to the list that you let it impact your day. You are a tough dude, but you need to tell us when you aren't okay, okay?
Okay!
I'm glad you are better now and ready to laugh, play and giggle like your normal lovable self!
I love you, kiddo!
Dad
Well, I realized recently it was time to start letting go. To start letting you do things on your own. To learn. Discover. Explore.
We have so much fun playing in so many ways. Interacting, giggling, walking around together, sitting or laying on the ground. With toys or without toys. It's always a blast!
But something I've come to really enjoy as your father has been to observe you playing. You get so immersed in your task I can just see you figuring things out! And of course, sometimes I have to jump in and join in the fun. And sometimes you look to see if I noticed what you did, and always have a very prideful look in your eye when you see that I'm indeed watching!
Special moments, son.
You change everyday. Every parent says that, and I always knew it but I didn't truly understand until you came into my life just how much of an impact it has on parents.
You are amazing!
Today, we had our special Wednesday together and it was awesome.
In the afternoon, I had your different sized bouncy-balls out arranged around you with some other toys on the carpet. You were very active pushing the balls around, batting them back and forth as I rolled them back to you.
When they got away, your attention was fixed on them. You amazed me with your ability to track the ball rolling and spin yourself around to a crouch position.
Son, you don't know how to crawl yet, but you'd never know it from your approach. You were so ready.
So I didn't get the ball for you after a while. I figured it was time to let go.
It's time for you to learn to go get what you want.
And you know I'm right there beside you the whole way. I'm there for support if you fall, and encouragement to help you reach your goal.
Always!
But today, we aren't talking about the Presidency or landing on the moon or batting 2nd in a major league lineup so you can lay down sacrifice bunts and turn double plays (you are pegged for 2nd base at this point!).
We are talking about a bouncy ball rolling across the room, so let's stay grounded, okay buddy?
Baby steps!
Prior to this moment, you had yet to crawl or successfully walk.
But this afternoon, you made major gains. Instead of moving your arms and upper body and just falling to the ground on your belly, you actually moved your legs in sync with your arms to propel forward. You didn't go far, and didn't get to the ball a few feet away, but you moved with purpose and with intent!
I was super excited.
Tonight, when mom came home, she came downstairs completely excited to see you (obviously, you know how she gets...) CAPS LOCK EXCLAMATION POINT!!!! AHHHH!!!!
That's how she was. Her face lights up when she sees you, and lights up even more when your face lights up in response to her face. It's a vicious (but entertaining) cycle and I love seeing it happen!
When this happened today, she got down on the floor and your were standing up but leaning on me for support. As soon as she got down, you just took off and took around five steps (maybe a couple more) to make it the three or four feet over to give her a big greeting hug!
It was your biggest walking breakthrough yet! I was overjoyed, and still am as I type this note to you.
Right after Christmas you did some independent steps, but no more than 3 at a time, and always ending with an intentional lunge to reach your goal.
This time - more steps, more balance, and no lunge! Perfection!
So obviously we continued to practice with tons of excitement. Your little legs wore out. You fell a number times. Your balance wavered on some tries, and you reached your goal on others.
We have a lot more of this to practice in the coming weeks. Your upper body and your mind wants to GO-GO-GO like mommy, but you forget to use your legs to make you go - but you are SO CLOSE, buddy!
Soon enough!
The best part is seeing you be able to learn and do things on your own. You take such pride and ownership in your tasks, and your parents are so proud of you.
Lastly, you gave us a scare over the weekend. We had to take you to the urgent care, and they made us take you to the emergency room. The ER made us keep you overnight at the hospital for the first time since we took you home 10 and a half months ago. You were a sick little dude, but it was nothing the doctors couldn't handle, and the doctors and nurses fawned all over you!
Unfortunately, you have your dad's ears. Your second double-ear infection, and your fifth total ear infection (you also had a single one). This one was bad, an 8 and a 9 on the 1-10 pain scale.
Ouch buddy. You handled it well, though, it wasn't until you spiked a fever and added a viral infection to the list that you let it impact your day. You are a tough dude, but you need to tell us when you aren't okay, okay?
Okay!
I'm glad you are better now and ready to laugh, play and giggle like your normal lovable self!
I love you, kiddo!
Dad
Saturday, January 14, 2012
January 14, 2012 - tough day
Hey Buddy,
It's been a tough day for you, and I'm so sorry you don't feel good. Not knowing what is wrong with you makes your mom and dad feel very helpless. We love you so much and just want you to be your normal, happy and playful self.
You haven't wanted to play once today. Me and you got to spend the morning together, and I don't think you smiled even once. All you wanted to do was sleep and cuddle, but you couldn't sleep or get comfortable. It was a tough day for you.
I'm glad mom took you to the urgent care. The doctors will help you feel better even if you want to be at home with your parents. I'm home working, but I am very concerned about how you are and mom is giving me constant updates.
But it's not the same as being there. I'd be trying to make you smile, laugh or babble with me if I was there. We'll see what the doctors say. If they make you stay longer, I'll come hang out.
You are a 10 and a half month old kid now. It's amazing how much you've grown and developed. Your personality has always remained the same, though and we love everything about you.
Hang in there, pal!
Dad
It's been a tough day for you, and I'm so sorry you don't feel good. Not knowing what is wrong with you makes your mom and dad feel very helpless. We love you so much and just want you to be your normal, happy and playful self.
You haven't wanted to play once today. Me and you got to spend the morning together, and I don't think you smiled even once. All you wanted to do was sleep and cuddle, but you couldn't sleep or get comfortable. It was a tough day for you.
I'm glad mom took you to the urgent care. The doctors will help you feel better even if you want to be at home with your parents. I'm home working, but I am very concerned about how you are and mom is giving me constant updates.
But it's not the same as being there. I'd be trying to make you smile, laugh or babble with me if I was there. We'll see what the doctors say. If they make you stay longer, I'll come hang out.
You are a 10 and a half month old kid now. It's amazing how much you've grown and developed. Your personality has always remained the same, though and we love everything about you.
Hang in there, pal!
Dad
January 14, 2012
Dear Logan,
You've had a pretty busy week, as usual, and more is ahead for you. We enjoyed our Wednesday together, you didn't nap much but that meant more play time and we both had a ton of fun.
On Thursday and Friday you had daycare and you LOVE daycare. It sure wears you out, though, sometimes you barely have energy to play with us those evenings. But you always seem to muster up energy to walk around the house with your toys or your mom and dad's hands.
You started walking with only hand of support and mom was really excited about that. You also looked like you wanted to legitimately crawl for the first time (none of this rolling and flailing around stuff). The problem was, you were on the bed and almost crawled right off the edge, you little stinker!
Last night, we went out dinner with Mike, Carrie and Will from next door. You had a blast although I think you were secretly annoyed that you didn't get play time at home. Watching you observe Will is priceless, kiddo. You got a little jealous when Mom held Will, and you were being held by Mike. You liked it at first and even picked Mike's nose, but after a few minutes it seemed like you thought 'enough is enough!'
We have a busy weekend in store - lots of activities and you get to hang out with Grandma and Grandpa a lot, you are going to have so much fun with them.
Right now, you are trying to take your morning nap but your little nose is running so much that you are having a hard time calming down.
Let's have a great weekend, little fella!
I love you,
Dad
You've had a pretty busy week, as usual, and more is ahead for you. We enjoyed our Wednesday together, you didn't nap much but that meant more play time and we both had a ton of fun.
On Thursday and Friday you had daycare and you LOVE daycare. It sure wears you out, though, sometimes you barely have energy to play with us those evenings. But you always seem to muster up energy to walk around the house with your toys or your mom and dad's hands.
You started walking with only hand of support and mom was really excited about that. You also looked like you wanted to legitimately crawl for the first time (none of this rolling and flailing around stuff). The problem was, you were on the bed and almost crawled right off the edge, you little stinker!
Last night, we went out dinner with Mike, Carrie and Will from next door. You had a blast although I think you were secretly annoyed that you didn't get play time at home. Watching you observe Will is priceless, kiddo. You got a little jealous when Mom held Will, and you were being held by Mike. You liked it at first and even picked Mike's nose, but after a few minutes it seemed like you thought 'enough is enough!'
We have a busy weekend in store - lots of activities and you get to hang out with Grandma and Grandpa a lot, you are going to have so much fun with them.
Right now, you are trying to take your morning nap but your little nose is running so much that you are having a hard time calming down.
Let's have a great weekend, little fella!
I love you,
Dad
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
January 10, 2012
Dear Logan,
We didn't get to spend a whole heck of a lot of time together today, but we will tomorrow. Tomorrow is Daddy Day. Wednesday, my favorite day of the week!
It might not be your favorite day of the week, and that's okay, because Tuesday's are probably untouchable. You had a wonderful day with mom today. But today started with a nice family morning. I treasure Tuesday mornings as much as I treasure my Wednesday's, and that's because Tuesday morning is always a family morning.
You see, your dad is lucky. I have a job that I can get to the office at flexible times. So we got to hang out as a family for a few hours, and of course that started much, much earlier than we anticipated when you woke up at 4:20! (Thanks for that, by the by!)
You did your usual wiggle around on the bed until you found my back. And yes, I was sleeping like usual today when you found me. Then you woke me up with your cute little voice and playful giggles. Even as crazy of a sleeper as I am, you find a way to wake me up!
You were pretty tired this morning, though, probably because you only took one nap yesterday. Although it was a 4-hour nap!
We had a great breakfast today, mom made raspberry chocolate chip pancakes! She made you a pancake and you gobbled it up, and don't worry, she made more for later in the week. We played together after breakfast with some of your new toys from Christmas while Mom and Mollie went on a run in this unseasonably warm January.
You rubbed your eyes quite a bit, and you went down for a nap shortly after they got back from their run. I didn't go to work until you woke up so I could say good bye to you.
While I worked, you and mom had quite an adventure! She took you shopping at Target for groceries and some other stuff we need around the house. Then a little later you guys took a walk to the park and played and played and played. You went down the slide and got to go on the swings! Don't worry, mom took tons of pictures and put them on Facebook so I could see them before I left work.
That got me super excited to come home to see you. Before I got home, Uncle Chris came over. I called him so he could help my snowblower start up again. Your uncle knows everything about engines, and we are supposed to get snow this week, so he bailed us out big time! Maybe someday he can help teach you how to fix engines because I don't have the first clue!
Although he came to fix my snowblower, I think he secretly wanted to come to play with you. He got off work early and got to our house way before I was ready to come home, so you got some bonus play time with him. He's a really good uncle and loves to play with you. It's really fun to see you guys hang out together, you are always smiling and talking to him.
When I got home, you were eating dinner and barely realized I was there until I walked in front of your high chair, then you looked up and gave me a HUGE SMILE!
It made my day! There wasn't a lot of time to play tonight, but we'll get after it tomorrow - I PROMISE!
I hear you making some sounds in your crib, so I'm going to check on you. I can't to spend the day with you tomorrow.
I love you buddy boy,
Dad
We didn't get to spend a whole heck of a lot of time together today, but we will tomorrow. Tomorrow is Daddy Day. Wednesday, my favorite day of the week!
It might not be your favorite day of the week, and that's okay, because Tuesday's are probably untouchable. You had a wonderful day with mom today. But today started with a nice family morning. I treasure Tuesday mornings as much as I treasure my Wednesday's, and that's because Tuesday morning is always a family morning.
You see, your dad is lucky. I have a job that I can get to the office at flexible times. So we got to hang out as a family for a few hours, and of course that started much, much earlier than we anticipated when you woke up at 4:20! (Thanks for that, by the by!)
You did your usual wiggle around on the bed until you found my back. And yes, I was sleeping like usual today when you found me. Then you woke me up with your cute little voice and playful giggles. Even as crazy of a sleeper as I am, you find a way to wake me up!
You were pretty tired this morning, though, probably because you only took one nap yesterday. Although it was a 4-hour nap!
We had a great breakfast today, mom made raspberry chocolate chip pancakes! She made you a pancake and you gobbled it up, and don't worry, she made more for later in the week. We played together after breakfast with some of your new toys from Christmas while Mom and Mollie went on a run in this unseasonably warm January.
You rubbed your eyes quite a bit, and you went down for a nap shortly after they got back from their run. I didn't go to work until you woke up so I could say good bye to you.
While I worked, you and mom had quite an adventure! She took you shopping at Target for groceries and some other stuff we need around the house. Then a little later you guys took a walk to the park and played and played and played. You went down the slide and got to go on the swings! Don't worry, mom took tons of pictures and put them on Facebook so I could see them before I left work.
That got me super excited to come home to see you. Before I got home, Uncle Chris came over. I called him so he could help my snowblower start up again. Your uncle knows everything about engines, and we are supposed to get snow this week, so he bailed us out big time! Maybe someday he can help teach you how to fix engines because I don't have the first clue!
Although he came to fix my snowblower, I think he secretly wanted to come to play with you. He got off work early and got to our house way before I was ready to come home, so you got some bonus play time with him. He's a really good uncle and loves to play with you. It's really fun to see you guys hang out together, you are always smiling and talking to him.
When I got home, you were eating dinner and barely realized I was there until I walked in front of your high chair, then you looked up and gave me a HUGE SMILE!
It made my day! There wasn't a lot of time to play tonight, but we'll get after it tomorrow - I PROMISE!
I hear you making some sounds in your crib, so I'm going to check on you. I can't to spend the day with you tomorrow.
I love you buddy boy,
Dad
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